For my k-drama enthusiasts, this is a reference to one of the most popular dramas released earlier this year. It is currently available on Netflix. All of the main characters are forced to acknowledge their past and how it has impacted the way they exist as adults. The thing I appreciate the most about this show is that it shows how as humans it is okay to lean into a spectrum of emotions that can feel not normal or seemingly impossible to exist at the same time. I started therapy this year and it has been one of the best decisions I made all year. I feel really lucky to vibe well with my therapist and I feel both cared for and challenged by her in a way that supports my healing process. It’s the first time in my life where I am truly able to acknowledge my “negative” emotions such as sadness, disappointment, and anger rather than forcing myself to be happy, productive, or positive. I put it in quotations because I no longer believe it’s bad to have them as long as they don’t paralyze me from my own growth and long-term happiness. As 2020 comes to a close, I say…

It’s okay to not be okay.

It’s okay to have not accomplished a goal you set for yourself, small steps still indicate progress.

It’s okay to lay in bed and binge Netflix instead of working out.

It’s okay to exist in the duality of being happy and sad at the same time.

It’s okay to say no.

It’s okay to not know what you want to be doing in 3 years, even 3 months from now.

Around this time each year, I am usually planning for the annual get together with a few friends I met through college and teaching. We typically spend a day or two reflecting on the year, setting goals and intentions for the year to come, and creating vision boards. Thinking about the rollercoaster that 2020 was and will probably continue to be in 2021. I personally decided that what I want for myself and the people I love in 2021 is truly more kindness to oneself, spiritual/mental/physical alignment, and more joy doing the small or big things that energize them. I want us to try not beating ourselves up for not attaining that thing we’ve been stressing ourselves out for and have faith that when we are in alignment, opportunities will present itself and we will trust ourselves to recognize them. I am really saying all of these things to myself as a reminder too.

In preparation for 2021, here are the questions that I will be reflecting on. Hope they are helpful to you in some way.

• List 3-5 things you are grateful for to help you anchor yourself in the present.
• What are 1-2 things you can incorporate into your routine to move towards greater spiritual/mental/physical alignment (ex: meditation, journaling, walking daily, daily affirmations, therapy, gratitude practice, mindful eating, etc)?
• What’s important to you and how do you make space and time to do more of what you love?
• Setting intentions – How do you want to feel or be when it comes to your health, space, job, family, etc. Let that guide your actions. Ask yourself honestly why this matters to you. It feels important to make sure that we  do things for ourselves and not because of some false expectations from others.